Thursday, May 26, 2005

Yet another sad day...

Been back in KL since Monday night... and I haven been outta my room since then! Except to go to the loo, bathroom and the convenience store, which is btw, inside the hostel grounds to buy my lunch-cum-dinner. That is all... Oh, I did go to Suk Ching's apartment today for dinner and then played some PC games and chat... does that count as going out? Cos her place is also the hostel... blehness... I'm just crapping...

Just finished crying... AGAIN! Seriously, what's wrong with us that we cant even hold a proper conversation on the phone?! Face-to-face, we're fine. But on the phone, we're just like cats and dogs! Is it because he's too much of a MCP (Male Chauvinistic Pig) who won't listen to what I (a girl) says? Is it that I'm much too sensitive and take hold of the little details when he talks, a little too personally? Or is it that we miss each other too much that being far from each other just makes things hard? I've heard and known of many friends who are in the same situation as I am now... the bickering in phone, but lovey-dovey face-to-face. Is there any way to solve this issue?

We promised each other we'd change... in time... Can we do it? We have to... I'm getting sick and tired of shouting, misunderstandings, fightings and crying over trivial matters as such. I'm worried it will affect our relationship. That must not happen!

Aarghhh... I'm such a mess right now... My eyes have been swollen for a good 3 days now due to all those crying... Im pretty sure his eyes are swollen as well... sigh... What the hell happened to us? Why cant the "we", that's on the phone, be just as we are when we're next to each other? Civilised. Happy. Calm. No fights. Loving.

This sux. This is fucking serious shit. This reeks. Bleh!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Things I need to do/change :

  • Control my temper
  • Be less sensitive towards small details
  • Take things more lightly/Relax
  • Sleep earlier
  • Think less
  • Cry less

Things he needs to do/change :

  • Listen to me; and DO it
  • Be less of an MCP & accept that this is a new era. Everything is NOT about the MALE species.
  • Take things more lightly/Relax
  • Procrastinate less
  • Think more
  • Cry less

That's all I can think off for now... will add if I think of any more... Bad bad mood... So depressing... so not at ease now... Feeling restless... so BLUE...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

hey sexy,

i don't think you really have to worry so much, whether things are breaking down or what.

from what i see, and understand, men just don't fancy talking on the phone... they are not like women who can yak on nonstop for hours :)

long distance rship is tough, i can't imagine doing it again :) but im sure with hard work you can do it.

maybe u guys can try to chat over internet or something. it may be easier for the guy as well. and on your phonebills.

=nel= said...

Cass : Hey darling...
Yea, I guess u're right about that guys aren't best friends with their phone as are us... Cos he seem to chatter nonstop when we're together but on the phone, its not so much... =)

Yea... Sometimes I really do hate distance in a relationship. It just sux... But what can you do when it hits you right smack on ur forehead? I tried to avoid the getting into a rship, cos it would be LDR, but look where I am now? Really cant avoid love huh?

Internet? Dun think it would work... cos we have comm breakdown always... as in, his english ain't good, spoken or written, and I cant write or read mandarin, just speak it. And he doesn't have connection at home... sigh...