I been tagged...

... by Yunqi

Rules: Bold the following that are true about you, italicize things you wish were true, add one true thing about you, and then tag five more people.

I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch much TV these days.
I love olives.
I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I've watched porn movies.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
I hate the rain.
I'm paranoid at times. (Paranoid most of the time)
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have fresh breath in the morning.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way that I look.
I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
I know how to cornrow.
I am usually pessimistic. (always, actually)
I have a lot of mood swings.
I think prostitution should be legalized.
I think Britney Spears is pretty.
Slept with a Suitemate.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex. (cass! wahaha!)
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
Enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop than eat.
I would classify myself as ghetto.
I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.
I don't hate anyone.I dislike them.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in (a) God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I currently like someone.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.(except during exam period)
I have at least 5 away messages saved.
I have tried alcohol or drugs before. (no drugs just alcohol)
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.
When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbour or chum.
I enjoy some country music.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I watch soap operas whenever I can.
I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I have dated a close friend's ex.
I like surveys/memes.
I am happy at this moment.
I'm obsessed with guys.
Democrat.
Conservative Republican.
I am punk rockish.
I am preppy.
I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.
I believe in prophetic dreams.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
Im proficient on a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went to college out of state.
I am adopted.
I like sausage.
I am a pyro.
I love the Red Sox.
I have thrown up from crying too much. (or the other way round)
I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colors.
I love Dear Abby.
I can't live without black eyeliner. (HAHAHA!!!)
I think school is awesome.
I think pigtails serve a purpose.
I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I don't like multi-textured ice cream.
I think John Cusack is adorable.
I f**king hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.
I watch Food Network way too much.
I love coaching youth sports.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I would not be friends if they weren't family.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I love vaginas. (HAHA PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY)
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I know who Santos L. Halper is.
I read trashy romance novels and I am ashamed.
I love wrestling.
I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.
If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.
I'm an artist.
I have a goal to collect every Johnny Depp movie ever made.
I have an unhealthy Taco Bell obsession.
I have had a crush on a cartoon character when I was a kid.
I have spent more on anime and manga than many spend on computers or other high end products.
I only clean my room when neccesary.
weight is my enemy!
ONE TRUE THING ABOUT ME : I LOVE AND HATE SOMEONE AT THE SAME TIME!!!

5 PEOPLE TO TAG :
Cassandra
KY
Vern Hui
Uncle Jack Jack
Lee Lian
***Wanted to tag you, Mikey... but since Yunqi already tagged you, I'll spare you a second agony and give the "chance" to someone else... kekeke!

What to say...

Should I say my mind is clearer these days? Or should I say I am going crazier by the day?

Blah... screw u!

My finals is next week... w00t~!!! No, that's not an excited hoot... it's more like, a... a... I dono what the hell did I hoot for actually... but anyways, good news is, thank god it's only 4 days... but bad news, fug... it's going on til 23rd and thus, my holidays is only for 10 freaking days!!! TEN DAYS ONLY!!! Screw Olympia... bluekss... And to think I used to have 3 1/2 to 4 months worth of break... >_< Poor me *indulge in self pity for 1 minute*

Anyways, lessee... 23rd finish exams... back home... 24th go down Segamat... night got pre-wedding-cum-Xmas eve party... 25th cousin's wedding...

Continue later...

After so long...

... rest assured to my fellow friends that I am still alive and kicking... Good and bad things have happened to me throughout the whole time I've been Missing In Action (MIA)... Things that made me hit rockbottom and crashed so hard... to how I've got great friends around me to scoop up all my broken pieces from the fall and putting me back together, piece by piece... And things that made me feel sky high... those were great times...

Anyways, Li Chin (Jen)'s finally back from Aussie... with a new love interest, Leong (Alex)! So went out for drinks at a lounge kinda place at Cherating with them, Audrey and some old schoolmates... Something like a high school reunion kinda thing. Overall, I think there were 14 - 15 of us... Had Carlsberg only at first... but later on as the group grew larger, started drinking tons more... 1 Carlsberg, 5 glasses of red wine, 1 tequila pop... what else? I dun remember... but I can honestly tell you, after not drinking so long and mixing your liquor... bad idea!!! Din know I felt freaking whoozy til I stood up to play pool with Kang Lung (which, in my high n "bei" state, I still won, kthxbai)...

Anyways, in the super high state I was in, I got to find out some stuff, like how much people cared and worried about me, how people would "fly car" in the middle of the night,all the way down, thus, getting "saman" just to see if I'm okay from all the drink... and many other stuff... =) So, through the bad, I get more good... LoL!

Sigh... tomoro got class again... dang! But got two good news for tomoro:
1. Lee Lian's coming down to Kuantan!!! Yeayness!!!
2. Going to watch mooooooovies.... after my loooooooooong hour of class til 5.30pm la... sigh... What should we watch... what should we watch... I hope to watch horror movies... either Cello or The Fog... But I have a feeling we'd be watching either Kung Fu MahJongg (not too bad) or Zathura (>_<) or Chronicles of Narnia (sooo not my cup of tea...) But what to do... must sacrifice... Wanna watch AEON FLUX oso... Jon ssid it's not bad...

Anyways, I dono what else to blog anymore... This week will be very busy... cos gotta handle some function thingy for our "exam"... pretty cool... but very pressurising as well cos it's 50 marks!!! *Gulp* Hope it will be a success... wish me luck!!!

Dad // Exorcism of Emily Rose // KL

Sigh...

Haven't been able to sleep much for the past few days... Dad had a serious fall, for the 2nd time, and a part of his knee got chipped off so Mum drove him down to KL for an op. Reached Sunway Medical Centre around 10pm and his Doc immediately did the op on him. Came out of Op Theatre about 1.30am. This was on Tuesday...

It is now Friday and they're still in the hospital... was supposed to be discharged today, but the doctor wanted to keep my Dad in for another day for observation til tomorrow... Hope he'll be fine... He'll be using the stand to walk with and the wheelchair as well...

Next check up will be on this coming Friday...

* * * * *

Went to watch Exorcism of Emily Rose with John, Foo, 'Wai Wai' (not her real name, I think) and Onn zai last night. It's a great movie! Not too scary (for me la... but Im a horror movie freak, so please take note that my level of "scary" might be higher than other people's) BUT nonetheless a very incredibly full of CHILL-RUNNING-UP-AND-DOWN-MY-SPINE. It's really nice... Definitely will watch again if got "kaki"... =) I highly recommend it (beware the faint hearted though) cos 6 Demons possessed poor Emily Rose (Belial, Judas, Lucifer, Serfen and 2 others I dun remember their names [sorry, I dunno if I spelt their names correctly, someone please correct me if they know thanks])

Onn zai (sitting on my right) bought like a whole bunch of snacks and throughout the whole movie, whenever the horror part comes, he will look to the left side of the cinema (NOT towards the screen) and his hands will move into his potato chips bag and to his mouth faster and faster each time the scary music in the movie got more intense! After the part is over, he will turn to me and ask, "What happened?". It was freaking hilarious! And after the first scary part, he told me, "Shit, Im regretting coming to watch this movie". LoL! Chicken!

John, on the other hand, sat on the right of Wai Wai and throughout the movie, after the first horrifying part, he has been sitting turned to one side on his chair with both legs on the chair (ie. squatting position on the chair). After the movie was finished, he was in the state of a shock. Wasn't his usual, talkative self. LoL! And he told us today that he slept only around 7am in the morning!!! OMG...

Anyways, this is based on a true story, so that makes it all even more chilling and interesting. It has been in an article I read from somewhere that the girl that played Emily Rose in the classic Exorcist actually got possessed by demons after they finished filming it and died.

* * * * *

Going down to KL next Fri - Sun (1811 - 2011). Going with some college mates, cos some of them has convo @ Vistana, KL. So the rest of us who are not involved just wanna go to support them, and to shop of cos. =P

Me, I got tons of stuff I wanna do and people I wanna see! But I dun think I can finish all of it cos I have only, like, 1+ days in KL. I especially hope I get to meet F... I do miss him so much and really hope to see him again. I hope your firm will not be too hectic that you have to work on Sat, F...

Other stuff I plan to do is :
- Get another piercing or two on my ears
- Go Red Box
- Go clubbing (hopefully both Fri and Sat nites, if possible, and got "kaki". Which reminds me, REMINDER TO SELF : CALL COLLIN AND RACHEL)
- Do as much shopping for clothings & shoes as possible
- Get a hair cut and hair dye

So far, that's my list, actually I think there's more to it, but I just cant seem to recall what are they... damnit... Argh! Oh well, will come to me soon... I think...

We'll be staying in Berjaya Timesquare Apartment Hotel.

Sunday, will be heading up to Genting for a day's trip since it's on the way back to Kuantan anyways.

Hmm... as for now, gotta rush my projects due in 2 weeks so I can fully enjoy the coming weekend.

Toodles y'all... muaks muaks...

The Artistic vs. Stupidity

Stumbled upon this in Irene's blog... Pretty fun kinda survey thingy I see, so I decided, what the hay, Im bored, Im pathetically in need of entertainment, why not do this... Check this out for yourself guys and better if you wanna do it and post on ur sites as well... =)

Stupidity is an art.

It's not easy being stupid. No matter how hard you may try, you will fail miserably. It takes unusual artistic talent, and a little bit of luck to be able to pass of as stupid. Only those who are truly talented will be able to pass. Try this test. If you score more than 8-10, chances are, you're artistic to the bone!

1. Do you hold your handphone with your left hand but listen with your right ear?
- When you actually talk on the phone for a long long loooonnnngggg time, you tend to have this routine thing such as I do, ie. holding phone with left hand to left ear, then changing to right hand to right ear (cos ur left arm's tired and left ear's burning), then right arm starts to hurt, so use left arm to left ear, but left ear still burning so use left arm to right ear... so does that answer your question?

2. Do you speak louder into your phone when you can't hear the other party?
- Well... OBVIOUSLY!!! It's all natural reaction that you do so CAN? Just ask anyone, we all do that (even though it's useless and foolish, I know).

3. Do you pick your ears wax using your fingers?
- As a matter of fact, I do. In fact, I just did this like 10 seconds ago cos my ear itched and I do not have the proper tool with me now. I usually like to keep my nails a bit long so I can conveniently do the earwax picking anytime, anywhere. And then I'd take the earwax and sorta crush it into powdery form before blowing it off my finger. Gross, huh? Who else does that? Come on... don't lie...

4. Do you tune the air-con temperature to high so that you'll get colder air out of it?
- Ok, THAT, Im not so dumb, err... 'artistic'. I was taught that lower temperature = cooler air.

5. Do you brush your teeth before having your breakfast?
- Actually, I do. I was taught from young that we should brush our teeth twice a day, once before bedtime, and once after waking up from slumber-before brekkie or brunch or lunch or er, meals!!!

6. Do you, conveniently engage the signal light in the same sweeping action as your hand is turning the steering wheel?
- Hmm... actually, sometimes, if I see there's no car in sight, or driving close to me, I won't even put the signal light on. (Do NOT follow my shameful path, kids!) >_< On the contrary, sometimes I do, however, flick the signal light on few blocks before my actual turning. (Don't idolize me on this too, kids... it's annoying...)

7. Do you knock the hell out of your remote control when the tv refuses to obey your need to switch channels?
- Hahaha! Knock the hell out is too strong a word to use. More like give a few gentle spanking in the arse...

8. Do you wear your socks only after you wear your jeans?
- Well D-oH!!! Doesn't everyone? Wouldn't it be the same as asking me if I wear my panties after my pants. I ain't no freaking Batman... or Spiderman... or Mr. Incredibles... CAN?

9. Do you still wonder why, sometimes, there's a horizontal line on top of the number 9?
- Hahaha... I dun actually... cos if there's a horizontal like at the top of the number 9, it means it's a 6 OK? It's so that people can differentiate the number 6 and a 9. *rolls eyes*

10. Did you finish reading this entire list?
- Of course... if I didn't, how would I have answered all 10 questions? Right?

How did you fare?
- Re-read my answers above and you'll have the answer to this question.

Thanks you thank you... Now your turn... post this up in your blog, change it to your answers, and let me know you've done it and I'll check your answers out.

Genting [021105]

Went to Genting last night. Went with my college friend-cum-staff, Foo, and my "sai lou", Tiger and his family (ie. Father, Mother n 4 younger sisters). Was really fun and crazy! I can proudly say that this is the best time I went to Genting (other than for Rave la...).

0430 : Woken up by the phone alarm. "WTF! So early?! Just slept at 2am wei!!! MCHTNSCCBTMD" After checking the time. Then remembered was to go to Genting.

0505 : Finished gotten ready and morning called Foo 4x before he woke up. 3x also ring til cut off. Blardy fella. Sumore wanted to be the one who woke me. MCHTNSCCBTMD

0510 : Headed to fetch Foo and off to Taman Tas to meet up with Tiger and then back to his home.

0535 : Reached Taman Tas' Shell Kiosk. Wait for Tiger to meet us.

0550 : At Tiger's home. Met and chit chatted a while with his parents and sisters.

0600 : Started our journey to Genting. Car 1 - Tiger's parents + sister 2, 3 & 4
Car 2 - Foo, Tiger, Me, Sister 1

0630 : Breakfast pitstop. Had noodle soup.

0700 : Continued journey. Chit chatted, watched VCD, listened to music almost whole journey. Slept towards the end.

0900 : Reached Gohtong Jaya Cable Car Station. Not too many people. Bought our return tickets and walked around a while.

0920 : Reach Genting Highlands. Walked around a while.

1030 : Went into Snow World (minus parents). Was really fun n crazy. Rode on the tires down the slope thingy. Butt really hurts as the bottom of the tire does NOT have cushion thingy. Tiger smuggled in his digicam. Went crazy taking pics illegally. Til the management shouted at us "OI! No cameras! No cameras!". Lucky it was towards the end of our time in there and we had already took lotsa pics. Also, we had Nutrigen in there. Freezing cold wei!!! Brrrr~

1200 : Tiger's dad went to Casino. The rest went for lunch @ KFC.

1300 : Walked around then Foo, Tiger, sister 1 and I went into Ripley's Believe It or Not. Great fun in there looking at the displays, playing the trick quizzes, watching the funny videos and playing the tunnel thingy. Oh, and taking lots n lotsa pics. Will post them up when Tiger sends them to me... =)

1450 : Met up with the rest of Tiger's family. Went to the Indoor Theme Park/arcade to play for a while. Rested at McD's a while cos was really tired.

1600 : Went to walk around outside the hotels. Just as we were headed out, it rained - HEAVILY. So couldn't walk outside. Boo Hoo hoo... And fog was really thickening and covering the scenery outside. So hung out there to "enjoy" the wind a while more and took pictures to pass the time.

1700 : Wanted to watch Motion Master but was under construction. Rain stopped already so went out to see the Flying Coaster.

1745 : In the end, only Foo, Sister 1 and I were brave enough and up for the ride. It was really chi kek and fun and adrenalin rush! Will definitely go for a few more rounds when have the time next trip to Genting!

1830 : Reached Gohtong Jaya station. Got into cars and headed down hill. Lotsa cars now.

2000 : Stopped at Karak to have dinner. Kinda sucks le... but not too expensive. Fish, Pork, Soup, Vege... RM55 for 9 person.

2100 : Started journey again.

2215 : Reached Taman Tas. Talked a while before drove home.

2300 : Finally reached home after dropping Foo off at his home. Was really jam in town on the way back cos today Raya. Bathed, read some magazines, sms with Tiger, while waiting for hair to dry...

0130 : Slept... ZzZzZ...

Will post up pics as soon as Tiger sends them to me ya? =)

Enjoy ur holidays and HAPPY DEEPAVALI & SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!! *hugz*

Sick

I'm sick... At least I think I'm sick... or will be... I dono...

I dono if I'm ALREADY sick or on the way there... But I know that I'm not well...

Drove home from college around 9pm last night again (yes, been doing that every night... turning into a nerd). Din turn on the air conditioning on my drive home cos I was feeling ghastly cold.

Took a bath - icy cold bath cos the hot water thingy at the outside bathroom which me and my sis use rosak (even before we rented there so totally not our fault) and the landlady din give two fucks to get it fixed so we won't hafta suffer under the cold water, especially at night or rainy/cold days...

Outta topic d... anyways, was already feeling cold, bath cold water, lagi cold. My hands were of ICY state all throughout the night... while reading my books, while watching tv... I din even on the fan in the tv room... and my sis complained that it was so hot. =O

Wore a thick jacket after that and still fan was off... but still felt cold. Wore thick clothings all through my sleep at night but STILL cold. Am I catching a cold?

Maybe it was due to the all the raining going on here now la... but not too likely cos how can I, someone whose immune system is stronger than my sister's, fell so cold and shivering in jacket and no fan on while she is there, bathed the same icy cold shower, but yet feeling hot.

Wanted to call F last night to talk to him... Miss him so much but wasn't sure if I should call him straight in fear to disturb him, so sms-ed at 10pm to check if he's free before calling. But he said he was on the way out to collect something from a friend and will text me when he got back. So I waited for his sms while watching tv...

1.30am came. Still no msg from him to tell me if its ok to call him for a short chat or to inform me that he's gonna sleep and all... but no. Nothing from him. Not even to let me know that he cant talk. Im really bummed. This is so depressing. And it made me even sicker than I already am. But I still msg-ed him to say good night.

This sucks...

Foolish heart.

U say U still love me. But U dun want me.

U say U still love me. But U push me away.

U say U still love me. But U ask me not to put my feelings and hopes up cos things may change.

Ur friend did something mean to me. It made me happy... until I found out he was making it all up.

I feel stupid. I feel foolished. I feel played. I feel like a yo-yo.

But I dunno why I still love you... after so long. After all this.

update...

A week since I posted anything... isn't it??? I dunno... I dun recall...

Friday got no class cos of the ... something I dun remember... and who cares?

Whatever Holiday = NO CLASS

that's all that matters =P

So... came back home on Thursday after class in the evening. Drove me n my sis back. Dam freaking a LOT of cars wei... less than 1 hr journey turned out to be about 1 1/2 hr journey pulak... n lotsa lorries summore... ish...

Then drove down to Kuantan this morning again... got revision class for Business today... An extremely stressful 10am - 1.45pm... Drilling nonstop for 1 hr 45 mins... can die la...

Then me, Tee and sai lou, Tiger went to Megamall for lunch... had Ayamas's chicken rice... it's really not bad actually... Was so full of cars on the road though... had trouble finding parking... went round n round n round for like dono how many rounds only can find... by the time we found parking was like 2.45pm ady...

After lunch, we walked around. There was this BMW road show going on and I fell in love all over again with the BMW Z4 Roadster (why I said AGAIN? Cos I browsed d internet 3 yrs ago and stumbled upon it n it was love at 1st sight...n now... again) 3.0 horsepower sumore... fuh... saw also saliva dripping... and there's also a 5 series and a 7 series on display I think... and... my other favorite... the X5!!! *breathes into paper bag*

Then drove back home again lo... Nothing much le... oh... the pipe in my Ktn home burst and the room flooded... making the room directly under ours flooded as well... heh... Our room was actually still pretty ok... just the room below... the bed's all wet... pretty funny... kekeke...

Meanwhile... assignments are all pretty much done... just waiting for the lecturers to OK it... and then next week will rush my groupmates to hurry it up on their part in our projects so the rest of us can get our parts done... I need to turn on my BITCH radar for these few weeks cos I'm chosen by lecturers to be the group leader for assignments and my fellow members are the type that cuts class and have the tendency to slack off... which is not my choice of group members but those are all the people that are in the class... so we're all stuck to each other whether we like it or not... bummer... blah!

So this means I'll be super cranky and super stressed out again again again from now on... Mid term's in 3 weeks time or so... OMG... *pulls hair outta head*

If I were a doggy, I'd be...

What Common Breed of Dog Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Nicked this from Irene's blog (listed on the right side of my blog)

I din know I had a breed in the doggy world. LoL... It's pretty true what it sez about me... Im not black, though... hehehe

So what breed are YOU?

Parents...

Talking to Irene now. About our problems and all the shits going on in our lives.

Which makes me wonder... why are parents unable to accept that their kid is facing some problems? In my case, depression.

I have had this problem since years ago... and when I finally let them in on it and I wanna go for sessions with a psychiatrist, they TOLD me that I DO NOT have depression! In fact, they INSISTED that I do not have it :

Me >> Mum, Dad. I have been suffering from depression for a long time and recently its been very much worse than before and I decided to go to a psychiatrist and perhaps find out whats wrong and get myself cured...

*got cut off*

Dad >> No no! You don't have depression! (HELLO! I do n it's been here for YEARS!) So there's no need for going to see doctors or anything.

Me >> And I also have insomnia... I havent been able to sleep for a few nights now even when Im very tired. Been going on for quite some time too. I thought of getting some sleeping pills so I can take one now and have a long good sleep...

*cut off again*

Dad >> No no no! What insomnia? Cant sleep doesn't mean insomnia (I said I have it rite?)! You're just not tired (??? din I say "even when Im very tired"???)! Don't take sleeping pills... sleeping pills are just for people who cant sleep. (???)

=.=''' WTF? What's going on here? Were they listening to me?

And again when I was having a severe gastric pain, last night, for the umpteenth time (which they know of, btw) :

Mum calls...

Me : Mum, Im having gastric. My stomach doesn't feel so good. Im lying in the shape of a human pretzel now cos it hurts so bad... can I take my gastric pills?
Mum : What? What gastric? You don't have gastric! (heh???) Take the pill Chi Kit, you just have air in ur stomach. Don't take your gastric pills. It's the first time you're feeling like that.
Me : But... but... this isn't the first time I get this... n u know too...
Mum : Ya... but it's the first time. Don't take gastric pills... take the Chi Kit pills...
Me : ........

[... I took my Actal anyways and worked like a charm! =D]

But... What's wrong with this picture? Anyone?

Me? A Looter?!

What kind of looter am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

What's a looter? >_<

Memory loss? // This girl...

Funny.

Everytime I am not planning to blog or am not logged onto my blog, I get tons of ideas on what I wanna post/update.

But when I am finally there - *click CREATE ENTRY* - I get brain-tied. Suddenly, all my ideas fly away! (hence, all the shitty sucky postings... so sue me. bLeh!)

What I DO remember is, I have been thinking about posting a "This girl" thingy... what is that? Hmm... should I do it now? Not sure yet... Once I do it, you'll then know what is it all about... =)

Anyways... I think I will do it now...

^(°oo°)^

This girl...

... is 21 years old this year.
... is misunderstood most of the time.
... has changed compared to 1/2 year ago.
... suffer from severe depression for more than 3 years now and is never fully cured.
... thinks too much about anything and everything.
... can be very noisy and loud almost all the time but can be extremely quiet, especially nowadays.
... is trying to get her life back on track again.
... is missing KL. The time when you can find some place to hang out/mamak at ANY hours of the day. Where your friends are game to have some fun.
... has many friends, but only few close friends, who actually understands and knows her.
... is judged and looked down upon most of the time.
... wants to go down to KL.
... is fucking stressed out and badly needs a vacation.
... does not have any time for herself or social life nowadays cos her life is evolved around handling responsibilities at college, 7 subjects, 5 assignments, 3 projects and 3 presentations.
... has found a friend in college that she can relate to and talk to comfortably about any topics or problems.
... is very afraid of growing fatter, even the slightest bit.
... loves McDonald's & Burger King.
... always orders the Fillet set (McD) and the (Single/Double) Mushroom Swiss set + onion rings (BK).
... loves to drive.
... loves her black Mazda 323 even though it is really old (1986/7 I think) and problematic.
... has kicked many male @$$eS in Need For Speed (and other car racing games).
... wants to graduate quickly and start her working life in KL.
... hopes to find "the one".
... tends to care too much for people that she loves/likes.
... is tired of unsuccessful/short-term relationships.
... loves watching TVB series.
... has mood swings and stomach problems on and off.
... used to have very bad temper, and still do but is very much less now.
... does not want to be in a relationship now because of hectic schedule and many other factors.
... is deeply petrified of getting hurt... physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
... has sprained her ankle three times in 2004 but is still giving problems up til now.
... is pretty close to her mum but not her dad.
... will do the best work on tasks you set upon her to complete, provided she is interested in the subject matter.
... aims to get straight A's throughout her course. *fingers crossed*
... loves to sing K, especially at Red Box.
... buys clothes mostly from MNG (MaNGo), topshop and Miss Selfridge.
... buys shoes mostly from Vincci and Nose (and Charles & Keith if in Singapore).
... thinks she has been in love only twice.
... is very straightforward and hates to be a hypocrite, so some people tend to hate her cos she refuses to lie to them just so they get happy.
... would rather people tell her the truth, even though the truth hurts, than lie/hide things from her. (Cos when the truth finally comes out, it's gonna hurt 1,000,000 times more)

^(°oo°)^

So far, these are all the "This girl" I can think of... will add more to the list when I can think of any... cos it's like 4.05am now and I gotta go get some shut eye.

Nite all and see you next time.

To YOU...

F...

This song is dedicated to you... It's a little bit outdated (the song), but this is how you make me feel. It wasn't like this for us... until the time you hurt me. It still hurts... stil does a lot. Things din have to turn out this way. Things could have been better. But you din wanna give us another chance. You cast me off just cos of ONE simple mistake. ONE! Think back on how many things you done wrong to me. I was hurt. But where was I standing through it all? Right beside you! Why? Cos look around you, F... NOBODY IS PERFECT!

I thought what we had, what we went through can handle more than this. I thought you knew me better than myself. I thought you were someone who wont give up that easily. That you were a fighter and will make things work and look beyond the surface... but you seem to prove me wrong. You disappoint me a lot.

I hope you are happy to make me feel this way. Congratulations, you succeeded in hurting me. Maybe this was your payback to me...


SCARS by Papa Roach

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

[Chorus x2]

Orientation Night pics // n00b

Uploaded some photos of my Orientation Night already. Actually uploaded some more than those you can see there now... but stupid internet connection fucked up my thing. Ended up with "Cannot Find Server" shite... sigh...

Anyways, here are my pictures : Orientation Night 2005 Photos

^(°oo°)^

Had class today... Saturday man! Also got class... actually, its replacement class le... but it's STILL A CLASS can! On Saturday too! Weekends are No Class Time ok? It's sleeping time. Nappie time. Make me feel like those poor schooling kiddies that have classes on Saturdays oso le...

Then the lecturer handed us our project questions. Yet another to add to our "Torture & stress" workpile. Business. Bah!

Well... dun wanna talk about that le... Im already dam pek chek (agitated & moody) these few weeks cos of college ady.

Happy things...

Went to Megamall (yes, again. What do u expect? College's near that place and this IS a small and boring place ok?) with Tee after class yesterday. Went around 2.45pm. Both took our own cars cos we were gonna go back at different times.

Bad mistake cos... when we drove nearing our destination, FUCK! the whole place dam jam and packed with slow (if ever) moving cars!!! It's already difficult enough to find a parking space for ONE car but two??? Man...

Went around the area like dam long... finally, after 30 minutes, found a space. Tee parked and hopped into my car to go find my car a space. Lucky I was daring and aggressive enough to cut in between two cars and then not allowing an old aunty that dam ganas keep wanna cut in front of me... cos if I hadn't been smart driving, the fella's who were gonna come out of parking n leave a free parking JUST in front of me would've been taken by Aunty Ganas! Almost 1 hour of going round and round finding parking... it ain't a stroll in the park I tell ya...

What was the happy thing? Oo yea... finally bought a new oil burner thingy! See, about end of last year or beginning of this year, I broke mine. How? I added some water and put few drops of oil and started burning (lavendar oil - to destress) while I got busy doing my assignment. Forgot to keep track of the time and check on the water level every now and then. At midst of doing my assignment, there was a sudden explosion - coming from behind me! I looked back and lying on the floor, broken into pieces, was my little blue glass bowl. le sigh le sigh...

I looked everywhere to find just the bowl... but to no avail. And on Friday... I finally laid eyes on that cute little thing. I went in the safer path now... no more buying glass ones, even though it looks nicer. Ceramic ones are better for blur sotongs like me... kekeke... =) Bargained with the shop lady... Finally could only reduce the price from RM65 to RM58... not much... but better... =/

Used it today! Yeay! Im a very satisfied customer... But din buy any burning oil from her shop though... they are freaking expensive!!! RM14 - 21 for some small bottles. I got my few bottles in KL for RM5 only! Lucky I still got my favorite Lavendar oil to burn... but it's almost finishing... sigh...

O... cut my hand on glass today... throbbing pain... bleeding... ouch! >_<

Depression. Stressed. Blah!

In my college's computer lab now, lepaking. Trying to decide whether to head back after this or to stay back a while longer to do some more research on my assignments... I already finished ONE of my overflowing assignments for this semester, btw...

ONE DOWN, SIX MORE TO GO!!! le sigh... >_<

Anyways, I think my depression is kinda coming back to haunt me again... and I dunno what to do... I'm stressed out all the time, restless, mood swings are always around... and I dunno what is actually causing it this time... could it be because of the of overflowing amount of assignments which incidently have datelines which are almost in the same week??? Possibly.

Or maybe it's just the way I am... always absolutely must torture myself and suffer cos I dun feel that I deserve to be happy and problem free. I'm a nut...

Whatever the reason is, does it really matter? I dono. I dun seem to be sure about anything anymore... Let's just see after I finish all my assignments... But by then, it'll be almost time for my final exams... then more stress will come in and depression will be even greater!!! ARGGGGHHH!~ help!

~~~~~~

F called last night. Got me pretty pissed off. Again.

We kinda agreed on holding things off and taking things slow for now and only deal with it after Im back in KL for sure. (note: this is more of his decision to do so as he feels that his job will take up most of his time and therefore have a chance it might jeopardize us if we ever got together now. And Im not too ready or keen to start something when the two parties are not 100% sure and all)

But last night, he asked if I wanted to get together for real. I suspected something but din exactly say it out. (My suspicion is very simple... you will see later on cos...)

After some twists and turns and asking... he finally confirmed my suspicion about his intentions and what he was doing was right.

He merely asked me that question out of his own selfishness. He knew he still wasn't able to juggle and divide time well enough between his work and a relationship and thus will create problems for us... but he still went ahead and asked anyways. Why?

Ever since he found out Gav drove all the way to Kuantan from KL just to see me and spend time with me (as well as go to my college's Orientation Night with me), he has been acting not like himself. How? In the sense that he's been treating me better and giving me more attention.

F finally confessed that he just wanted to test me, to see what I feel and how I would react. He merely wanted to find out what position he is in... whether things has/will change!!! WTF!

I really dun feel good... this totally sucks, being put in this kinda position and all... I feel so worthless and stupid, F!!! You, of all people, should KNOW not to do this kinda thing to me! You should know better! No matter what... this should not be how you handle things ok! I hope you get it and not do this to me for THE THIRD TIME!

I was very forgiving the first time. I dun appreciate it the second time. If there comes a third... Im pretty sure you know the consequences, F! Dun say I din warn you...

*** All is Fair in Love and War ***

Get it?

Orientation Night & post-OR

Hey peeps!!!

I'm back~~~ LoL... =)

Anyways, been long since I posted... I know... I was pretty darn busy with the Orientation Night thingy and Gav extended his stay here... Will update on what happened the past few days...

22/09/05 (Thursday) - After OR full rehearsal @ coll... Sis fetched me so she can follow her colleague in his car to KL for seminar and Annual Dinner, then I will have my car back again *aaahhhh* Then... went to Megamall with Tee to get a white top (for our opening dance) and have dinner. During dinner, Tiger came over to find us (& to do last minute shopping for his clothes for OR - we last minute ppl! kakaka~ )

Anywayz... It was raining pretty heavily, but was pretty late so we all wanted to go back (and I had to book a room for Gav before going back). Was pretty hard to book one, cos got some sports event or something going on in Ktn this weekend, so most hotels were already fully booked!!! *&amp;^%$&%*&% AND...

... my beloved car was already on the verge of KO-ing... Tiger said it was probably the car battery konk-ing out ady!!! But still had to go around lookin for room... Got to book a room for Friday night after going to the 4th hotel in my "dying" car *phew!*

[7.45pm] Stopped @ college a while before heading back... By that time, car was in pretty bad shape. Din dare to off engine at all. Headlight was fainting, signal was either blinking veeeerrrryyyyy sloooowwwwlyyyyy or not blinking at all!!! Tiger went into college to get Zaki, and they both asked me to drive home slowly without air-cond or radio on. Just headlights. So I did.

I reached the 1st traffic light and put to "N". But as the light turn green, I happened to look down when I put to "D" and noticed that the gear box is not lighted anymore! Not only that, it was drizzling so I put my wiper on and it got stuck halfway!!! My petrol (which was 3/4) needle was close to "E"!!! I started to panic so quickly called Tiger. There was a junction before a traffic light (and Shell station) and he asked me to wait there for him. It was lucky that road was well lit and no car was following too near behind me, cos by then, I realised my headlights were no longer working and my signal is nonexistent! Turned in, kept my engine on while waiting for Tiger ad Zaki to come to my rescue...

They reached. Brought Mr. Foo with them. Just as they reached, my car took its final breath and officially went dead --toooooootttttttttt--

Tiger stayed there with me while Zaki and Mr Foo went around to find battery shop (replace my battery). Was pretty tough cos it was already 8pm! To cut story short, was already 9.30pm when they finished putting in the new battery and got my car engine on. BUT car was still havin lotsa probs. Went home.

23/09/05 (Friday) - Gav's sms woke me up at 10am. Said he's gonna start his journey. So I woke up and went to college to find Zaki (promised to accompany me to workshop to fix my car). Was someplace nearby my coll. Turns out the prob was not the battery, but the thing near the fan belt (I dono wats it called cos the mechanic wasn't speaking very good english so I cant make out what he was saying). But what I made out was that the problem wasnt the battery (Fuck! wasted RM135) The problem was that the thing in my car was not the original Mazda 323 thingy, was already changed to use a Nissan Sentra's thingy and the Sentra's thing was too big for my car so it had some empty space, allowing dirt and dust to collect in it, therefore, making it get spoiled. (Can anyone make out what "thing" is that and let me know?) told me that I could collect by 1pm. Said fine, cos I predicted I'll have to get my car by about 2pm, so I can meet up Gav and take him to check into his hotel, get food and rest before the OR that night. BUT, later on when I went back to check on my car, he said that the mechanic has gone for lunch and can only finish by around 2pm. So fine, asked him to call me when its done.

About 1.30pm, Gav called! Seems he has reached Kuantan and my car was still at workshop. Fella still haven called to let me know if my car's done!!! So I told him and he actually found his way over to my college in just 1/2 hour or so!!! Amazing!!!

So, went to Megamall to get food before checking into hotel. After lunch, went to check on my car. Turns out the fella forgot to call me when my car was ready!!! =.=''' Paid (RM138) and lead Gav to the hotel.

Tee waited for us at the hotel lobby while we got ready. We wanted to go together. Just as we were gonna leave the hotel entrance to get into Gav's car, it rained!!! Pretty heavily! Talk about good timing... mchtnsccb... Besides that, the road was pretty jammed also... Gav made a grasshopper out of coconut tree leave and gave it to me. =)

Was still raining heavily when we reached the hotel so Gav put me and Tee down at the lobby before parking the car.

Anyways, the event was pretty good le... Not bad. But very hectic for me, cos I had to wear my evening dress there (had to hold the banner and all as opening) and then quickly change into dancing attire for my opening dance. After that, rush upstairs to change into my fashion show attire for the third show and finally, back into my evening dress again to join Gav at our table and enjoy the rest of the night. Was buffet style dinner (which the food at Swiss Garden sucks btw), so Gav got some food for me so I can eat when I got back to our table.

Got some aromatic candles for lucky draw. LoL... Tiger and Azlyn got crowned the new King & Queen of Olympia College 2005 respectively. Best dress goes to Ayu & Zaki (couple). We wondered if it was planned... ;)

Will post some pics of that night as soon as Tiger sends them over to me...

Event ended around 11.30pm. Later on Gav, me, Tiger & Mr. Foo headed to the disco @ top floor, Megamall. First time going disco AND this kinda place in Kuantan. Not to mention we were all too well dressed to go to disco! I was in super high heels and all le!!! Cant shuffle also... sigh... Freakin good sound system though (better than the ones in KL clubs) and not the lala kinda place me & Gav imagined it to be. The live band sings Chinese songs, though. Lucky they take breaks and the DJ takes over with some pretty good English mix.

Both of us wanted to go to pub, so we can sit, drink and talk. But we suspected Mr Foo wanted to go to that Megamall's disco, cos we asked him to intro some pubs to go to in Ktn and he kept sayin that the police closed a lot of them down already (but on the way back Ktn, we saw plenty of pubs, live and kicking, on both sides of the road) LoL!

24/09/05 (Saturday) - Gav was supposed to head back to KL, but wanted to go Kmn instead, so I followed his car and my parents din hafta come down to fetch me back. Anyways, went lunch around 2pm. Gav bought a red dice with white hearts instead of the normal dots for me to hang in my car... =) Then caught Flight Plan at 3.45pm in GSC, Megamall. Damn good movie wei... I recommend! Must watch!!! ^=^

Around 5.30pm, went over to Giant to check out the Mister Coffee business branch here (his family's business). Went to my home to park my car for my sis to go work on Monday and pack my stuff.

Headed back to Kmn. Reached around 8.30pm. Wasn't hungry yet so he fetched me back my home and he went his grandma's place. Bath, unpack, he fetched me out yamcha around 10pm. Came back home around 12am. Washed up, watched a bit of TV, slept at 12.45am!!!

25/09/05 (Sunday) - Gav called to go breakfast at 10.30am. Then went to Awana Kijal to play at the beach. Then about 12.45pm, went to Hai Peng to drink coffee. After that, went to play 2 rounds of snooker. Lost like shite to him wei... sigh... Then later on, went to Kuala to have Otak-otak, Satar & Lekor (yum yum). He went home to his grandma's around 4pm to rest before starting journey down to KL.

Came to find me to talk a while before he heads back to KL. Sigh...

Anyways, definitely a great weekend! =)

Sorry for summary like blogging towards the end. Am pretty darn tired already now and realised I got tons more to type!!! Lazy already... teehee! =P

Orientation Night - Eve

Tomorrow is THE day. For my college's Orientation Night, that is... And I dunno how well it's gonna go, our rehearsal just ended a while ago... it seemed pretty fun and crazy... let's hope it will be like so as well, tomorrow.

Oo... I found someone to go with me to the OR! Yeay! Gavin will be coming down from KL tomorrow just to visit me as well as be my "date" for the function. It's so sweet of him to do so and get me off the extra ticket Im stuck with... Thanks Gav!!! *hugz* =)

Will head to Megamall later on with Tee to find our top for our opening performance, after my sister leaves for KL with her colleague, Jeffrey. Their company, Super Pages will be having their annual dinner down there on Saturday. So that means I will be having the car all to myself... whoopeeee~~!! =D And then me and Tee will go book hotel room for him..

I still dunno what to plan for Gav's visit here... not sure where to take him to and what to do cos I dunno Kuantan that well yet... so let's hope his visit here will not be too boring for him... =/

Mascara

In college now... went to Megamall with Tee just now to get some catalogues from Vincci to paste on our College's Secretarial Board... for decoration purposes of course... =.='''

Anyways, while I was there, I saw this very nice pair of pumps that I simply could not resist buying! It's really nice AND suitable for going out as well as for me to wear to college... Definitely NOT a pair of pumps that will KILL feets... *beams* RM59.90 or something... forgot... it's brownish in color so should not be too difficult to match clothes with it... I HOPE! *gulp*

Hmm... later on we went to Watson's to buy a new mascara to use during my Orientation Night cos my current one, Maybelline Lash Discovery is err... almost dried up? >_< And as a result... I bought the new Maybelline XXL mascara! It's on promotion right now cos its, yes, like I said, NEW... so it's only RM29.80 now (normal price is RM35.90). Came back to college a while ago and couldn't resist trying it out... the result : EXCELLENT!!! I have NEVER seen my eyelashes so long and thick and ... beautiful before!!! It's amazing!!! I have pretty short lashes, so I definitely recommend this to people who have short lashes like me... it really does add length and thickness to my barely-there lashes! And it's pretty darn cheap too! The effect is almost exactly like the one you can get using L'Oréal's Lash Architect (the one with Milla Jonovich or some celeb with the damn 'kua cheong' lashes wan), so if you were originally planning to buy "LA" (which was what I wanted, initially), why not give XXL a try, as it gives similar effect/result AND is much cheaper.

PRICE COMPARISON >> Maybelline XXL : RM29.80 --- L'Oréal Lash Architect : RM45.90.

See the price diff for the same great results? =)

Sooooo happy... w00t~!!

The pics...

Just as promised, the pictures from my Merdeka Parade participation... Sorry, the photo pixels are very huge, it takes too long to load, what with me using TMfuckingNet [dialup]... it already took me ages to load into my Multiply, so... do go take a look at it over there ya? Can browse around too... It's where I store all my pics... Ooo... And do remember to ADD me into your list too if you haven't already done so... *winks*

CLICK HERE : ~***Merdeka Parade '05 Pics***~ Hope you enjoy them!!!

P.S. Do leave comments both in here AND in multiply k? Would love your feedbacks! Muaksss!!!

^('00')^

Pissed...

... is what I feel right now.

Just ended a conversation with F. And I can tell you, it din end pretty.

Dun wanna go into details. Just some personal stuff.

You know what, F, fuck you! I guess its MY fault for not letting you know earlier. So that you wont spend all of this month's earning on boozing and pubbing with your friends. Its my fault that you din keep your salary for rainy days and have savings of your own! And I guess it's MY fault too that you wanna come but cant and you don't want me to ask someone else. What the fuck? I don't know anyone around here! You want me to get someone off the street? The people I know here are all from my college! They are ALL already involved, FYI! You cant come, but you don't want it to be someone else other than you... how does that work out, F? Huh? Tell me what that fucking means!

FUCK!

Maybe boozing with your friends are more important that this... than me... Im pissed. No matter what I do... things doesn't come my way... You say you'll come next month. But the thing is THIS MONTH in case you still in LaLa Land and din realise yet! So what if you come next month. Can I postpone the whole damn thing to next just because of you? All the places are fucking fully booked for this whole year! And FYI, it's not my place to choose ok!

Damn. Fucking. Pissed. Off. Right. Now.

Whatever. I hope you're HAPPY! Cos I sure am NOT!

What d'ya think?

Like my new layout??? Kekeke...

Not bad for someone who knows NIL.ZERO.NADA. about html and all those IT shite yea? ;)

BIG thank you goes out to Jack Jack for aiding me in my "template mission" LoL! Thanks Uncle Jack Jack! ^_^ *hugZ*

Anyways, not much to talk about. Drove down Kuantan today for a meeting about our Orientation Night (in charge of some stuff) and then drove back again... and then sat here few hrs trying to figure out this html stuff...etc... so pretty tired...

Each of us has to sell a minimum of one ticket for the Orientation Night... So... Anyone of you interested to come to my college's Orientation Night? It's only RM50... we have dinner, performances, AND fashion show (which, btw, I am chosen to be one of the models up on the runway that night! Come support me pls...) as well as lucky draw and voting for MR. and MS. Olympia... I have a feeling our head student, Zaki will be Mr. Olympia C. and either Azlyn or Kak Ayu will be chosen as Ms. Olympia C. Yeay...

While I was in college, went to get my timetable for my course, which will commence this coming Monday (12th September 2005) and guess what? I have SEVEN (7) subjects to take in this sem... including one LAN subject snoozathon, Moral Studies. WTF! Can you imagine that??? I hope I can still obtain excellent grades despite the jam-packed schedule... sigh... But determination is strong in me... *chants* I know I can I know I can I know I can... *chants*

Details for Orientation Night -
DATE : 23rd September 2005 (Friday)
TIME : 7.00PM
VENUE : Swiss Garden (Hibiscus Hall)
THEME : Elegant Night
TICKET COST : RM50

[NOTE : I have one ticket in my hand now... Anyone interested to go, do let me know. If more than one ticket is requested, I am able to obtain more] I am NOT joking...

Self confidence : Men v Women

Self confidence. Self esteem.

If there are anything in this world that can distinguish men and women (minus the fact that we women have inflated chest and a "cat" while men has deflated chests, 2 nuts and a "shift stick" below), it's those two things above.

Men, have the highest self confidence and -esteem (not to mention, ego) ever, while women's hit rock bottom! (Speaking for majority case here)

I once read somewhere that, put babboon's ass looking, obese, mop haired (lame man's term : FUCKING UGLY) guy in front of a mirror and what he'd think is, "Man! I look like <>!"

Meanwhile, put a thin, sexy, hot Gucci momma, with legs that go on forever in front of a mirror, and she'd go, "OMG! Im the world's ugliest gal... My thighs are too fat, my eyes are too small, my hair is ugly ...."

Why is it, that men are sooooo PERASAN??? What makes men think they're the best looking, sexiest man alive? and women feel the least bit sexy/attractive?

Anyone???

Tiring Merdeka

Ahhh....

Finally back from the Merdeka Parade... was ok I guess... Had to wake up at 5am in the morn. Be in college b4 6am... feets blistering, marching under the blazing, hot sun for hours to come, sweat pouring buckets full due to the ever so stuffy and hard to walk in baju kurung I had to wear... and the sultan is not even cute! Mwahahahha! Oops... Went out with Tiger, Sze Peng and some of Tiger's friends for yamcha at this nice place called Relax on 30th night... got to fag after a looooooong time! Woohoo! LoL... Got to laugh a great deal listening to Tiger and his crazy brass band mates' stunts... Wanted to even join them at the fields for countdown, but Sze Peng had to be back before 12am, and I din wanna drive back too late, all alone... so we went back around 1130, went to my home, got my stuff and went to her place to stay for the night so we can go to college together the next day. Watched a Taiwan horror movie til about almost 2am and then went to sleep. Gav called me at almost 3am (already asleep), so we talked a while and then got back to sleep. 5am, alarm rang... dead tired CAN! =.='''

But it was pretty fun I guess... standing in front and all the funny and crazy collegemates happen to also be in front... so we were all laughing and joking and talking and stuff... pretty fun despite the hot spell. And our head student, Zaki is crazy and always getting our command (hukum) wrong, hence, the army man (Param) in charge of us had to keep coming over and correcting him and all. But he did joke with us as well... Was hilarious...

After the whole parade was over... went back to college (note: we had to walk from college to field no. 1 and then march to field no. 2 which is dam fucking far away, and then after that had to walk ALL THE WAY back to college AGAIN!) and they prepared some refreshments and stuff for us... was fucking dead tired I could almost fall asleep... Rested in college a while and then around 1pm, drove back home... 1 whole freaking hour driving back... alone! I dono how many times I ALMOST, not quite, but ALMOST dozed off behind the wheel... 3 days of 2-3 hrs sleep and marching for almost whole day... equals dead tired AND the lost of 1 more kilo! Not bad le... ahhaha...

Will post the pics after my sai lou sent them to me... he actually already sent them, but seems to be corrupted and I cant open them... wonder why... hmm...

Anyways, gtg... gotta drive down to Kuantan tomorrow... college having a picnic-cum-BBQ by the beach (Taman Gelora, near Telok Chempedak (TC)) for us who joined the merdeka Parade... gonna be fun in the sun and lotsa pigging out to do! Woo Hoo! Dun jealous yea! =P

Tired CAN!!

Hey peeps...

Im back from my training and exam! Actually, today's training was cancelled and yesterday's was the most pathetic training ever! All they did was just lined us (those who actually bothered to turn up) and took some pictures and let us off... in less than 30mins! And with today's cancelled, I get to come back home and sleep in the comfort of my own room, my own bed... cos I dunno why, but I dun seem to ever been able to sleep in that room in Kuantan...

Everytime Im there, I cant seem to sleep... And then I'd wake up at like 8 - 9am... WITHOUT FAIL! I never even needed the alarm clock to wake me up, cos I always wake up waaaay earlier than the time set. Last night after getting off the phone, I went to lie down in bed at 2am, lights off (sis next to me, sleeping like a log already)... I COULDN'T sleep! My phone rang at almost 4am, but it din wake me... cos I was WIDE AWAKE! Talked a while and then tried to go back to sleep again. Ended up lying there staring at the ceiling til about 6am before I could actually sleep... and then I suddenly jerked awake at 8AM! And I din have to wake up til like 1030!

It's not just this once... it's everytime Im there... is this creepy or what? =S

Anyways, I'm gonna hafta drive back up tomorrow and stay there til either Wednesday or Thursday... cos we have this vigorous and final training before the actual day (Wed). So no point comin back after training on Monday and then drive back up on Tue again! Too much petrol money ka? LoL... So me and my friends gonna have lunch, hang out after training and go look around for gym centres so we can go...

Oo... went to watch Singapore's ghost movie, The Maid last night after training with my "brother" Tiger and Sheau Wei (Ah Tee). Was pretty ok le.. not very scary... but dam kesian wan... The dam funny part is, when people watch horror or anything, they would wince or scream or anything rite? Well, Tiger's is special... when it comes to the intense part of the horror, he will suck in his breath thru his mouth for as long as the scary part lasts. And if it's dam long, he'd pause for like 1 second and continue again! It was hilarious! The whole cinema was laughing cos it was loud enough for them to hear... LoL!

Anyways, nothing much to update for now... Pretty tired cos of lack of sleep... sigh...

P/S : I finally put up my tagboard on the right hand side (below the Cool Counter)... If you guys wanna like tag me or leave a msg or whatever, do feel free to do so k? Will reply back.. hehehe! =P

Why so boring???

Argh...

Gotta drive down to Kuantan tomorrow again... got Merdeka Parade training with my fellow coursemates of Olympia... FORCED by our principal btw... Totally 100% din join by choice! Blueksss!!!

And then on Sat, will be having Computer Application exam (yes, an exam on a fucking SATURDAY! Kill me can?) and then about an hour after that, it's training time again! Whoopee!!! *sarcastically + rolling of eyes pls*

Oh, and it's confirmed... my lecturer insists I wear the cheongsam and asks Azlyn (that's the lenglui Malay gal, I found out her name) to help find a nice one to rent.. and get this... me and her are gonna hafta wear HEELS and march around the fucking field! OMFG! I hope I dun trip and fall... And I already sprained my ankle like 3 times... I so CANNOT wear heels for too long... I wore them on Monday to go for my class (Mondays are the college's "dress up like an executive" day) and then after that went to Megamall for lunch and a short walk around wif my coursemates before driving back home again... and my leg almost gave way... It's still painful up to now... Sigh...

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~

Ooh... Thinking of joining the gym once my actual course starts, I get my timetable to plan and things are more settled... Will most probably be going with my "sai lou" Tiger, since he's the one who suggested it... And I HAVE been planning on getting myself toned up again, considering I had to stop tennis cos of my poor ankle... So Im guessing gym would be a pretty good choice, considering you dun need to find a sparring partner to do gym (a buddy there for motivation and boredom killing is good of cos)... Just hope I won't get all big and bulky like I did when I was still superbly active in tennis... I din lose all this weight and went to a smaller frame just to ruin it all again wei... Just wanna look more toned... not bigger! =S Sigh...

Argh... boring boring boring... Guess Im gonna go offline in a few.. nothing to do... Bah!!!

What the...

I dun get it. I just dun fucking get it! Why do guys have to get all bitchy and nasty and mean on the girl after he breaks up with them?

See, this friend of mine, she suffers a very very bad bad BAD depression. If I'm not mistaken, it's hereditary. It's so bad she self mutilates, attemps suicides and all that pretty often just to hurt herself. She actually love the pain and seeing the blood. Since its hereditary, it's pretty hard, if not impossible, to cure. She takes lotsa anti-depressants and all those shits doctors give her... etc...

This ex of hers, know her for years n have been going after her for like YEARS, so therefore means already knows how she's like - her depression, self-mutilation, suicide, her character, etc.. BUT, with knowing all those information, he still went after her for all those years.

And then, she finally accepted him. He even broke up with his then gf to be with her. Said there were no sparks with her and no love at all. My friend and that bastard were together for some months. Has their ups and downs like all relationships, of course... and then, in this few days, he broke off wif her AND got back wif his ex (now, din he say he din love her, no sparks and all that shit?). AND, she flew all the way over to where he is, spent the week with him and all... but he din even break up with her like a MAN, face-to-face! He waited til she was back on the plane back to her place and then a day or two later broke up with her, through the phone! What the fucking hell!

Not only that! After breaking up with her, he starts bitching on this blog that they share, about how he cannot cope with how she is, her depressions, her this and that... when he already actually knows how she is right from the beginning, YEARS before this, and we assume he has accepted ALL of it cos he still insisted on pursuing her for so many years, listening to her problems, helping her out... even before they got together!

And as if he hasn't hurt and tortured her enough... he even posted up tons of entries about mental illnes! Stuff like "Mental health: What's normal, what's not", "How signs, symptoms and function are interpreted" and "Mental health as an evolving continuum"! As if stating she's mentally disturbed and cuckoo! Fucker!

What the fuck man? U call yourself a MAN? For a guy of almost thirty, you would think he would have some MATURITY and BRAINS inside his teeny weeny head. Handle the situation sanely and LIKE A MAN la! What a loser... I have male friends who are tons younger than him that are more mature than that bird brained son of a bitch!

If you got nothing nice to say, don't fucking say anything! Just keep ur stinking pie hole shut! No one will say you're dumb!

What an asshole... I hope he rots in hell!

Hold on...

Now wait just a minute there...

I would just like to make some things clear... This is my blog. My sanctuary. A place where I can just blurt everything I feel, think, want, need and whatever shite out. My place of truth. It is also a place for my friends to get to know about me, what I do, how I feel and et cetera et cetera et cetera...

I dun think I am a bad person. I dun do drugs, I dun rob, I dun steal, I dun kill... I am just going through life as it is. I am not perfect. I am a normal human being. And I make mistakes. I feel things. I learn from my own mistakes, from mistakes my friends do. I have feelings. Yea, so I have more of a depression than others do. But so what? I still am me. You think I am not learning cos Im ranting here? That I am an unappreciative, spoilt little prissy ass bitch cos I just want my freedom, my own space, my own life, my own way to learn in life? Think again.

No two people are the same. Maybe some of you dun understand what I go through cos u have ur own freedom since u were young. For me, all my life so far is my parents telling me who I can be friends with. What I should eat. What sports I should play. What clothes I should wear. What I should study. Where I should study. For my life so far, I have been doing what my parents want. Is it wrong for me to want my OWN LIFE back? Is it wrong for me to wanna live n see the world for my own instead of being kept inside a cage and learn and see things through my parents' eyes? Is it wrong for me to actually have my own life? To have my freedom? Is it wrong to expand my views? What the hell is wrong with that? It's not like I'm DISOWNING them or saying I don't need them and their advice!! I still do ok? They are and always will be my parents, whom I love no matter how pissed and mad I am at them. I just wanna learn things my way, see things on my own... be independent!

Every family has their own quirks and deep dark secrets. Every family has their problems and fights and whatever shits. This is MY way of keeping my sanity. MY way of handling things.

Got that?

Bored...

Sigh...

It's so boring... Im so bored... what a boring place Im living in... A place where the town goes almost dead by 11pm... where you cant even mamak after 12am cos no place is open - AT ALL!

What to do? What to do? What to do? And my actual course is not opened yet, so Im here freaking bored outta my head... I really cannot wait for my graduation by end of next year... so I can find a job located in KL and be in the middle of all the actions again... like I used to be... [how many times have I actually talked about this? Too many I think... U guys are gonna kill me aren't you? =P]

But it's really true... This place is too dead to be true... And living with parents like mine? It dun matter how hip and happening this place is... you will forever have a curfew and a limitation of where you can go and what you can do... Just ask the 24 yr old gal who came from this very same family as me... I dun get why she gave up a job in KL to come back here! [I know la actually... beloved bf here ma] But giving up KL to come back to curfews and controlling parents? OMFG... Well, not quite la... since she usually dun listen to them and they dun freaking do anything about it... oh wait, they do... they PICK ON POOR ME instead! Me... the poor, defenseless one... who gets dragged in the middle of their warpath just cos their elder daughter don't listen to them... *rolls eyes*

Which makes me cant wait to escape this "prison" and have my own sanctuary, my own life, my own freedom... let them deal with her directly instead of diverting the torture unto the innocent victim who doesn't go out, stays home and does her homeworks...

O... The "VIP" has finally read the "crazy" thing I sent... but I gotta wait few more days cos "VIP" wanna think about it first before replying me and giving me the answer... Is this a good sign or a bad sign? Im soooo nervous... sooooo scared over what's it gonna be... I really hope it's the positive answer... Really do... *Prays and hopes* This is so nerve-wrecking... *Breaks into cold sweat* OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG....

Please pray and hope for me that things goes my way... pls... thanks...

Ranting post...

OMFG-MCH-CCB-TNS...

[WARNING : This post will contain a lot of profanities and violence and bitching about... so those who wants stuff like "peace on earth" or whatever shit, or do not wanna read angry stuff, or happy people who do not want their mood to be sunken, you are warned... leave while you can!]

I am sooooooooooo restless and panicky and desperate right now... (dun think slanting la fuckwits!) It's cos that lenglui Malay gal (I still dunno her name...) said she'd call me since Tuesday to discuss and go out shopping and stuff to find something for both of us to wear during perbarisan for the Merdeka Parade... and til now she STILL FUCKING HASN'T CALLED ME!

Fuck la... is it all leng luis will do this kinda things wan? FFK la... Broken promises la... kena dam a lot of times ady la... all from leng luis wan... (sorry to leng luis... Im not stereotyping... just fucking pissed off now... Im a perfectly sweet and nice person... when not lied, ffk-ed, broken promises, etc... to)

I will only be going to class on Monday next week to pass up my assignment... and then Friday and Saturday 5.30PM will have marching training... Saturday 2 - 4.30PM exam summore... and I dun see her in college often... so how the hell am I gonna track her down la... sigh... I hate going to complain to the lecturers about other students... I hate tattle-taling and ratting on others... but what can I do?

I am so NOT planning on wearing a cheongsam in HIGH HEELS! And WITH sports shoes to march, it would look fucking ODD la! Ppl would think Im fucking insane wei... Kebaya would be much better choice considering its longer and can cover the shoes... and where do I find kebaya I can borrow if that gal keeps playing HIDE AND SEEK with me? I will absolutely NOT go make one just for this stupid event... I still need to find a gown to borrow or buy for my Orientation Night... Dark blue... fucking dresscode... why cant they just allow us to wear whatever fucking color we want?

Not to mention, my coat and skirt for my Secretarial course will also have to be dark blue! Sigh... Nothing against it... love blue... just dun love what color we hafta wear inside... LIGHT BLUE! WTF! It's awful can!

Oh fuck... just remembered tomorrow is Salem Revelation in PD... cant go! Cos Im fucking not in KL... dam sad... have been going for all da annual raves (2x per yr, yes, I go to both)... and now, I have to break the spell cos I cant go this time... MCHTNS... sigh... I hate you people who get to go! Dam unfair CAN! Damnit la Alex! Come down and fetch me along with you la! U won't wanna be Jon n Shennie's Philips 300watt lightbulb rite? I miss clubbing with you la! Pleaaaaaaassssssse......

Oh crap...

PoEm...

Argh! Freaking migraine... killing me... Always have it... comes to "visit" every few days once or so... sometimes so bad that it even makes me puke (or want to)...

Anyhoo... I recently read a novel and stumbled upon a poem which I find really meaningful and so I decided I'll be all generous and share it with you guys... hope that you will enjoy it as much as I do and in the meantime learn something from it too...


"IF" by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait, and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve you turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will to say to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - not lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If all you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that is in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!


This poem is telling you to always be yourself, have your feet firm on the ground, always be optimistic, believe in yourself... no matter what others say or think. Very very meaningful... Many people cannot do this... including myself...


^(°00°)^


Below, is an e-mail my friend has sent to me... It is so true as well... Check out the pic... it's a couple kissing... pretty clever aye? Took me a long time form the picture in here so you guys can see it... cos the picture somehow became defected and unviewable (is there such word?) when transfered into here... It's still a bit cacat-ed la... but just as long as you can make out the picture, can? Anyways, the most important part of this post is the message below... not the how ugly the picture turned out cos of my erm, bad editing... bluekss! >_<
[hint: someone pleasssse compliment me that I did a great job with the picture... *bambi eyes*]


, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;.
, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,
, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ) ) ) ; ; ( ( ( , , ; ; ; , , _ ) ) ) ) )\ ,
, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ' ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) \ ; ; ; ; ; ; / ) ' ' - / , ) ) ) ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ; ; ; ; ' \ . ~ \ ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) )
/ / ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (
/ ' \ _ / ~ ' ) ( ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) )
/ ' ` \ / o _ / ) ) ) ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (
/ / ' ` ~ ~ ( _ _ _ _ / ( ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) )
- - - , \ ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (
` \ ~ - _ _ _ _ ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) )
\ ` \ _ . - - - . ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (
\ \ \ \ ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) )
\ \ / ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (
\ \ / ) ) ) ) ) ) )
\ __ / ( ( ( ( ( (

Never say I Love You
If you don't really care

Never talk of feelings
If they aren't really there

Never hold my hand
If you mean to break my heart

Never say forever
If you ever plan to part

Never look into my eyes
If you are telling me a lie

Never say hello
If you think you'll say goodbye

Never say that I'm THE one
If you dream of more than me

Never lock up my heart
If you don't have the key


Anyways, hope you all enjoyed and learnt something from these two postings... Have a nice life... Will post some stuff later on!


^(°00°)^

Oh fVcK!

Oh crap... Oh my fucking gawd... I did something crazy... something mad... something I may regret doing... even more so later... cos I already am regretting it... But if I don't do it... I will not know the answer... And whatever I wrote just now are all true... 100% pure.. from the heart... no joke... no more playing games... no more immaturity... But still... oh fuck... what have I done... Alrite... Im like contradicting myself in here... Hell, even in my brain I'm contradicting myself... conflicting myself... War is going on in my head now! ARRRRGGHHHH!!! I just hope everything turns out well... goes how Im really realllllly hoping for... But still... slim chance, I think.... sigh... Im the most pessimistic bitch around... This sucks...

Feeling patriotic, anyone?

Hmm...

Malaysia's 48th Independence Day is just around the corner (note : that's 31st of August for you fuckwits who still don't know) and I'm bummed... why? Cos this year, I won't be able to celebrate in the lovely Kuala Lumpur like I always do every other year (yes, I still fucking love that place. Love the busy and hectic life. Sure beats boringtown like where I am *rolls eyes*). No more seeing fireworks. No more hanging out in Sungai Wang area from morn til wee late hours. No more going nuts with a whole buncha friends. No more clubbing... Why is that you ask? Well, for several reasons :

1. Haze.

2. Parents would definitely NOT allow me down cos of the haze (I know it's like almost gone... but they'd definitely still say NO) ...and besides, let's not forget how they like to have their over-controlling claw into me, questioning my every move, every squirm... I get the third-degree just trying to take the car out of my home to go buy a reload card for my cell... yes, it's THAT extreme. Im not exaggerating... pfah! Funny, its only me who gets it... my sister doesn't seem to be bothered by them... sheesh! *rolls eyes*

3. I have to be patriotic (note the word HAVE in the sentence. Meaning Im forced to be... beyond my will.) Olympia College, Kuantan suddenly decides to make their presence known to everyone so they are doing that by joining the Merdeka Parade... which means we poor reluctant students will have to join the march... bleugggh! >_<

And it gets worse... We have two lovely ladies wearing some traditional clothings (ie. Kebaya, cheongsam, kurung, sari, etc... u get the picture) walking up front, holding a banner, saying something like "KERANAMU MALAYSIA... OLYMPIA COLLEGE" and behind us is our head student, Zaki and behind would be 3 guys holding, Im guessing, the Malaysia flag, the Pahang flag and possibly one with the college logo. Following behind is seven rows and x amount of columns of people in the march... well, that's not why I said it gets worse...

Here goes...

I'm one of the "lovely ladies" who gets to be up front... wearing... gulp, a cheongsam? Kebaya?! That's for being well-known and instantly liked by (almost) all the lecturers and staff in college... *runs around the room 100x, screaming my head off*

*Pant pant Exhausted* Ok... I've calmed down... Hmm... we haven't decided on what I'd be wearing though... the pretty (yea, she's a real beauty) Malay girl that would be walking along side me with the banner in our hands would be calling me to discuss what I'd wear. Maybe we'd be going for a shopping spree tomorrow to decide *whee!*
Or maybe I should just borrow my mum's never-worn-before cheongsam... it's kinda loose for me... but hmm... will ask the gal when she calls...

I'll try and take some pics of the event... and me in whatever I wear... and post it in here for you guys to see if I can... Hope I dun trip and fall... Oh gosh...

@_@

Ooh... Hmm... Orientation Night
Venue : MS Garden, Kuantan
Date : 17th September 2005.
Time : Still unknown.
Charge : RM50 (around that).
Attire : Dark blue gown <---anyone got any classy, sexy and beautiful gowns to loan me? I'd be forever grateful... pleeeeeeaaaaaaaaaase *winks*